I don’t know how else to explain it, but it’s this frustrating, almost painful feeling of wanting to do something so badly… and having absolutely no idea how to start.
I’ll sit at my desk for hours. Not procrastinating. Not slacking. Just… stuck.
It’s this overwhelming sense of not knowing where to begin, and it can feel so defeating that it starts spiraling into shame.
I start questioning everything—my intelligence, my capability, my worth.
I feel dumb. Uneducated. Like I missed a memo that everyone else got.
And the worst part?
I know what I want to say. I know what I’m trying to do. But somewhere between the thought and the action, it all gets scrambled. Like my brain is sending a clean message that has to pass through a filter of knives—by the time it reaches my mouth, or my hands, it’s shredded.
So I repeat. I restart. I rephrase. I overthink. I try again.
What takes someone else 20 minutes might take me 3 hours—and that’s on a good day. Especially when it’s a boring task. A mundane one. Something I have zero interest in. That’s when the wall goes up, and I just can’t push through it.
It’s not laziness.
It’s not lack of willpower.
It’s ADHD paralysis. And it’s exhausting.
This Isn’t Laziness—It’s a Dead Battery
The first step for me was always the same:
Get frustrated.
That was it. That was my whole process for a long time.
I’d sit there, knowing what I needed to do, and the only action I could manage was being mad about it.
Then I started taking medication. Slowly, things began to make sense. I was beginning to understand my patterns…
…and just like that, I lost my train of thought.
I had so much to type—but the sound of the TV next to me obliterated it.
Gone.
You know what? Screw it—I’m just gonna type exactly what I’m feeling.
It’s frustrating. But even just acknowledging that I’m stuck makes ADHD feel real.
It’s not that I’m stupid.
It’s just how my brain works.
Sometimes, I can get everything out.
Other times, I can’t even begin.
AND I’M BACK.
When this happens, I’ve learned to start typing anything—even if it’s not related to the “thing I’m supposed to be doing.”
If I can’t start the thing I need to do, that’s fine—I’ll do something I don’t need to do.
Play a song. Vacuum the floor. Rename a playlist.
Not as a reward. Not as a distraction.
But as a way to unstick the gears.
Sometimes doing something pointless reminds your brain:
“You’re not broken—you’re just stuck.”
And sometimes?
It’s just not going to happen.
No trick. No hack. Just real talk.
Instead of spiraling, I try to remind myself:
“This isn’t working today. That doesn’t mean I’M broken. It means my battery is dead—and pretending it’s not won’t charge it.”
And if anyone calls that lazy?
They can go read a productivity blog written by people who get paid to write bullet journals.
So.. yea.. tell me again how I just need to try harder.