ADHD Working Memory: Why Things Leave Your Brain So Fast

Memory has probably been one of the hardest parts of ADHD for me.

I forget dates.

I forget things I need to do.

I can be in the middle of a sentence and suddenly forget what I was about to say.

And that’s a weird one because I haven’t stopped talking.

I’m still in the conversation.

So now I’m trying to finish the sentence while also searching my brain for the next couple of words that were apparently there two seconds ago.

Sometimes I find them.

Sometimes that sentence is just gone.

Then there are the smaller things that happen all day.

I can be scrolling through social media and see something that reminds me:

Oh yeah, I need to do that.

I scroll two more times.

Gone.

I know there was something I needed to do.

I just can’t remember what it was.

Sometimes I’ll scroll backward, see whatever originally reminded me, and immediately:

OH YEAH.

There it is.

For a long time, I just assumed I had a terrible memory.

But some of these moments aren’t really about forgetting something from the past.

Sometimes the information was just there, and my brain couldn’t keep it around long enough for me to use it.

That’s where working memory comes in.

What Is Working Memory?

Working memory is basically your brain’s temporary workspace.

It helps you hold information in your mind long enough to do something with it.

Someone gives you directions?

You need to keep those directions around while you follow them.

Doing math in your head?

You have to hold onto one number while doing something with another.

Having a conversation?

You’re listening, thinking, choosing words and trying to remember what the hell your original point was.

I picture it like a workbench.

You can put information on the bench and work with it.

But there’s only so much room.

Put enough stuff on there, or interrupt me at the wrong moment, and something is getting knocked off.

Studies comparing adults with and without ADHD have found differences in working-memory performance on average.

That doesn’t mean everyone with ADHD experiences this exactly the same way.

But it helps explain a feeling I know very well:

I didn’t forget something I knew.

I lost something I was still using.

What ADHD Working Memory Problems Can Actually Look Like

Working-memory problems don’t always look like forgetting someone’s birthday or losing your keys.

Sometimes they happen right in the middle of everyday life.

Losing Your Thought While You’re Still Talking

This happens to me constantly.

I know exactly what I want to say.

I start saying it.

Then somewhere between the beginning and end of the sentence, the rest disappears.

I’m still talking, though.

So now I’m trying to continue the conversation while searching for my own missing thought.

Basically troubleshooting my sentence in real time.

Sometimes it comes back.

Sometimes I eventually have to ask:

“Wait… what was I saying?”

Multi-Step Instructions

Give me:

A.

B.

C.

Sounds easy enough.

Except while you’re still explaining B and C, my brain may already be turning A into:

A1.

A2.

A3.

Now I’m working through those while trying to keep B and C sitting somewhere on that mental workbench.

Good luck to B and C.

This is why I look back at instructions constantly when I’m putting something together.

I used to think everybody did that.

Maybe they do sometimes.

I do it because I don’t trust the next step to stay there while I’m doing the current one.

And if I’m building my daughter’s tricycle, I’d rather check the instructions again than accidentally build her a unicycle and send her off to join the circus.

“Wait… What Was I Doing?”

I walk into rooms and blank.

When it happens, I’ll actually walk back out and retrace my steps.

Usually something gives me a cue.

I’ll see something.

Remember what I was doing before.

And suddenly:

Oh yeah. That’s why I went in there.

The same thing happens while I’m scrolling.

I can lose a thought, scroll backward, see the original post and instantly remember what I was supposed to do.

Sometimes the information doesn’t feel completely gone.

I just need the right cue to bring it back.

My Countertop Is Basically Extra Working Memory

Cooking is another good example.

If I’m making bacon and eggs, I need everything I’m going to use out.

Bacon.

Eggs.

Bowl.

Seasoning.

Whatever I need.

Because if I only get the bacon out, I’ll start cooking it.

Then when the bacon is almost ready:

Oh snap. The eggs.

Now I’m at the refrigerator looking for eggs.

Maybe I discover I only have one when I thought I had four.

Breakfast is cooked.

Literally.

Or maybe I have enough eggs.

Great.

Now I’m cracking them, stirring them, adding pepper…

…and the bacon is burning.

So I learned to put everything in front of me before I start.

It probably looks like organization.

For me, it’s more like making the plan visible.

Instead of asking my brain to keep reminding me what comes next, the countertop does it.

If I can see it, I don’t have to keep holding it in my head.

Working Memory Isn’t the Same as Long-Term Memory

This is why saying “people with ADHD have bad memories” doesn’t really explain much.

I can forget what I was saying while I’m saying it and somehow remember some completely random detail from years ago.

Those aren’t the same job.

Long-term memory helps store information over longer periods.

Working memory is the temporary space you’re using right now.

Think about someone telling you a phone number.

You repeat it:

713… 555… 24…

Someone interrupts you.

Gone.

You were trying to keep new information around long enough to use it.

For me, the easiest distinction is:

Long-term memory helps me remember something from yesterday.

Working memory helps me remember what I was doing 15 seconds ago.

And sometimes those 15 seconds are apparently asking a lot.

Why Is My Working Memory Worse Some Days?

Some days my working memory feels worse than others.

And sleep can be a big part of that.

When you’re sleep-deprived, things like attention and working memory can take a hit—which isn’t exactly helpful when those are already things you struggle with.

Stress, exhaustion and other things that affect concentration can make those moments feel worse too.

So if you’ve ever had a day where your brain seems to be dropping absolutely everything, it doesn’t necessarily mean your ADHD suddenly got worse.

Sometimes your brain is just trying to do the same job with fewer resources available.

Important Doesn’t Automatically Mean I’ll Remember It

This one matters to me because forgetting something can start looking like a character flaw.

I’ve heard:

“You’ve known about this for a month. You should’ve been ready.”

And I hate that.

Because I know what that can make me feel like.

Lazy.

I know I’m not lazy.

But it still hits that way.

People can also assume that if something were important enough, you would have remembered it.

I don’t think my brain works that neatly.

Interest definitely helps me.

If something genuinely interests me, there’s more of a spark to do something about it or find a way to keep track of it.

But even then, I can forget details.

We have a trip coming up that I’m genuinely excited about.

I started a countdown 103 days before the trip so I’d always know how far away it was.

I still had to ask when we were leaving and coming back so I could request PTO.

Actually, I didn’t even want to ask.

I searched my emails.

I searched old text messages.

I tried different words hoping I could find the dates somewhere.

Not because asking was difficult.

Because I didn’t want to feel like a jackass asking for information somebody had already told me.

That’s a part of forgetting that doesn’t get talked about enough.

Sometimes you don’t just lose the information.

Then you spend extra time trying to recover it without anybody realizing you lost it.

The Problem With “Just Put It in Your Calendar”

This is where ADHD advice can start driving me crazy.

Use a calendar.

Write notes.

Set reminders.

Text yourself.

Make a checklist.

Okay.

Those things work.

If you actually put the information in them.

Someone can casually say:

“Can’t wait for the soccer game Saturday. It’s at 6.”

And at that moment, I know exactly when the game is.

Saturday.

Six o’clock.

Cool.

But my brain doesn’t automatically flash:

IMPORTANT FUTURE INFORMATION DETECTED. OPEN CALENDAR IMMEDIATELY.

I just keep having the conversation.

That’s the missing step in a lot of advice.

A calendar is useful once the information makes it into the calendar.

A note works once you write the note.

A reminder works once you create the reminder.

And sometimes I don’t realize that this perfectly normal piece of information passing through a conversation needs to be pulled out of that conversation and stored somewhere else.

So when an ADHD article gives me 25 versions of “just write it down,” I want to throw the whole computer away.

If consistently remembering to use the memory system were easy, I probably wouldn’t be reading an article about memory systems.

That doesn’t mean I don’t use them.

I do.

They help.

I just think the useful part is understanding what they’re actually doing.

The calendar remembers the date so I don’t have to.

The instructions remember Step 5.

The countertop remembers what’s supposed to go into breakfast.

The problem isn’t that these systems don’t work.

Sometimes the hardest part is remembering to use them before the information disappears.

Is This the Same as ADHD “Object Permanence”?

You’ve probably heard people online describe ADHD as an “object permanence” problem.

Technically, object permanence means understanding that something continues to exist even when you can’t see it.

I know the leftovers still exist when I close the refrigerator.

I just might not think about them again until they’re developing their own civilization.

The ADHD experience people are usually describing is closer to out of sight, out of mind.

Attention, working memory and remembering future intentions can overlap in experiences like that.

But working memory is broader.

I can lose my thought while I’m still talking.

I can lose an instruction while you’re still giving me instructions.

I can lose what I just read while I’m still looking at the page.

I don’t have to forget that something exists.

Sometimes I just can’t keep the information available while I need it.

Is Poor Working Memory a Sign of ADHD?

Working-memory difficulties are associated with ADHD, but having poor working memory doesn’t automatically mean you have ADHD.

ADHD is diagnosed from a much broader pattern of symptoms involving inattention and/or hyperactivity and impulsivity. Those symptoms begin in childhood, show up in more than one part of life and cause real difficulties with everyday functioning.

So recognizing yourself in this article can give you something useful to explore.

It isn’t a diagnosis.

And if memory problems are new, suddenly worse or very different from what’s normal for you, don’t automatically write them off as ADHD. Sleep, stress, mental health, medications and other health issues can affect memory and concentration too.

That’s worth discussing with a healthcare professional.

Maybe My Brain Doesn’t Need to Hold Everything

Working memory is still one of the ADHD experiences that frustrates me the most.

I lose thoughts.

I forget dates.

I reread instructions.

I retrace my steps.

I build little systems around myself that sometimes make things easier, and sometimes require their own system just to remember to use them.

That can be exhausting.

But maybe the goal isn’t to become a person who magically keeps everything in his head.

Maybe my countertop can remember what’s for breakfast.

Maybe the instructions can remember Step 5.

Maybe my calendar can remember Saturday at 6.

I don’t need to prove that I can remember everything without help.

I just need to make it easier for important information to still be there when I need it.

So I’ll keep using the calendar.

Assuming I remember to put it in there.